Ramadan 1431- Day 30 September 9, 2010
Posted by DaughterofPearls in Ramadan.4 comments
Blink of an eye.
I said I would update around daily, and look, it is the last day of Ramadan. It passed too quickly, slipped away so fast, that I think my lack of posts define its true essense. Ramadan is the short time between my first post and my last. It goes by too fast to document. And you are left at the end: always filled with sadness for the leaving of this great guest. Sometimes you are left inspired to continue what you have started.
And sometimes you are left with regret for your shortcomings. At the end of the month you realize- what was the worth of my sleep during the month now? Every minute asleep- if not with the intention to become stronger for worship-seems like a waste after the month is over. You would think by the end of the month those moments of shut eye would leave you well-rested. On the contrary, they leave you restless.
Restless. The quran I could have read instead of that sleep. The dhikr I could have made instead of that random thing I got busy doing. Every minute could have been savoured and yet- their worth truly shines when they are gone. Forever. And you are left wishful that Allah blesses you to see another Ramadan and make up for it.
I learned. Is that not life? In the next life, those who were astray will wish that they prepared for their life. (see surat Alfajr). They say I wish I prepared for my life. What are they refereing to by ‘my life’? The afterlife. Because this one, this one is a blink of an eye-hardly a life. This life is a Ramadan surrounded by eleven months. All of which are filled with minutes that are filled with seconds that are filled with opportunities that we may pass- just out of laziness.
This blink-of-an-eye (layman language: life) is not worth it. I define it as smiles between dissapointments; dissapointments being the true markers. It is a sadness we try to escape- not a happiness interrupted by sadness. It is fickle. He who chases it falls, he who dwells in it drowns, he who is deceived by it will never know anything true. Ramadan comes to teach us that that is the true worth of dunya-if only we would wake up.
Eid is tommorow. I feel like it is Eid only for those who left this month forgiven. Only for those who in this month have been saved from Hellfire. Only for those who Allah has guaranteed them Jannah. We can’t know who they are of course- but those are who deserve Eid. Anyone else deserves a Janaza over his yet living soul, I think.
So until next Ramadan then. Eleven blinks until the next blink of an eye.
And all this life: just one blink of an eye.
